How it all began

I met my husband in high school. We started dating when I was just 17 years old, but I knew instantly he was the one! His outlook on life, his smile, his personality, his faith, his strength, did I mention his smile...He was everything that I wanted and needed...and more. We fell in love within weeks which was obviously exciting but also terrifying! He was going to be going away to college which would obviously be extremely hard on our relationship. We graduated high school and began our summer "Underneath the Stars". It was a fairtytale summer-walks on the beach, sunsets and sunrises, dancing in the moonlight, late night talks, weekend get aways...it was perfect. We spent our last weekend together before he left for college, which also happend to be my 18th birthday-we went camping. It was the perfect way to end our perfect summer!

We survived the first few months of him away with phone calls, emails, weekend get togethers and the beauty of his breaks off school. Over his winter break, we spent every day together...every night together. Over break, he cooked for me for the very first time-lasagna. It was suprisingly good! I'm still til this day convinced his mom helped him...he usually struggled to make mac-n-cheese! Regardless, it was a great dinner and yet another great night! He went back to school and we were already looking forward to the next time we'd see each other which wasn't going to be until Valentine's weekend. That weekend came and we were shocked with the gift that was already in store for us...I found out I was pregnant-just 18 and pregnant! We figured it out, quickly, because we had to, Robert was going to finish our his year out of state and then transfer to a college back home and finish out his degree. Once the shock was over, our family was supportive of trying to help us figure this out. Even though I was young, I was very excited to become a mom; I always new I wanted to be a mom and I knew Robert was my future so I just looked at this as a curveball to the plans we were bound to have anyways. Taylor was to be the baby's name-we didn't know for sure it was a girl, but we were convinced it was. At my 10 week check up, the doctor all but confirmed for us that it was girl....I was excstatic to be having this baby. Every bone in my body wanted this baby...my belly was already getting hard and then the unthinkable happend; I began to spot & passed out at work. They called 911 and at the hospital my worst fears' were confirmed, I was probably going to lose our baby. Robert's parents' drove almost 11 hours straight through to go get Robert home to be with me but unfortunately he didn't make it home in time. I lost our baby on April 3, 1997. We were completely devestated! And so began the next chapter of our life....

After dealing with the grief of losing our baby, our relationship was obviously strengthened and our love grew to a level that neither of us could've imagined. We got engaged when I was 19 and married when I was 21 years; he was 22. We had an absolutely perfect wedding, the big white dress, 185 guests, beautiful church ceremony, fun reception...most importantly, we were madly in love. We were young and so inspired by each other, we knew we would beat the marital odds and grow old together-no one we knew would've doubted our love or our future.

Our first 3 months of marriage were really rough emotionally. Two weeks after we got married, I ended up in the hospital with a kidney stone and kidney infection that required me to have surgery to remove the stone. It was awful! Few weeks later, my grandma suffered a major heart attack and had to undergo a quadruple by-pass. One month later, my Uncle Dave comitted suicide. I was absolutely devestated! Him and his wife were my favorite aunt and uncle on that side of the family-I spent a lot of time there growing up. Some of my best childhood memories were of my time with them. My uncle had been suffering from severe depression and bipolar disorder for a couple years and gave up the struggle that his life had become. In a lot ways, my husband Robert reminded me of my uncle Dave. They had very similar personalities. You know that guy at every party that just has a way of working the crowd, making you laugh even when you don't want to...whose smile could light up the darkest sky? That was my uncle...and my Robert! I was so distraught by the news of my uncle's death, not only because he was gone, but also because this was supposed to be one of the happy times of life...I was a newlywed and also just found out I was pregnant! This pregnancy was so exciting for me and Robert; after losing our first baby and with my medical history, the doctors' weren't sure if I'd be able to have children. I was newly pregnant and heartbroken over my uncle's death and had a really hard time finding joy. I wanted so badly to be excited about the pregnancy, but then felt guilty for feeling happy when this was obviously a devastating time in my life....and in the life of a new marriage. I had a fairly good pregnancy. I had high blood pressure and had some preterm labor the last 3 months of my pregnancy, but all in all, it was a good pregnancy. On March 7, 2001, 3 1/2 weeks early, Brendan Robert was born. Our hearts were bursting with love and joy! It was so hard to believe how much I loved this beautiful baby instantly-he was a perfect reflection of me and Robert.

• And so it began....